Baseball? But I don’t wanna!
It’s that time of year again. The time when you wish you had more than one respectable sweater to wear out or, with fingers crossed, you delve into your closet in search of the one decent hoodie you have, in the hopes it hasn’t incurred some damage of the nocturnal heterocera variety (that’s moth for any layman out there…or for just about anybody who’s heard the word “moth” before). To accompany your snazzy couture, the crisp autumn air and all those beautiful leaves that put on one final show before they take flight and fill your Saturdays with thankless chore work.
As sports fans we all know what that means…Fantasy Baseball! Wait, wait, wait, just give me a second. Stop the pillaging; put down your pitchforks, I can explain myself! But hold on, why do you even have a pitchfork and is that hay you’re burning on a stick for light? Take it easy and find a flashlight, it’s the 21st century.
Alright, so of course Football reigns supreme this time of year. The Jets are quite inexplicably (and probably for the last time) tied for first in the AFC East. The Chargers door continues to close as they struggle to even surmount the Cable Guy and his Raiders. And your sleeper picks, James Davis of the Browns and Anthony Gonzalez of the Colts appear destined to struggle for a starting chance rather than breakout. But honestly, this is the time for Baseball people!
September Call-ups and no I’m not talking about your Ex that you really, really think will give you the time of day this semester if you just reach out and try. I’m talking about Buster Posey, Jason Heyward, and Julio Borbon. All the guys you’ve never heard of and don’t really care exist because, hey! It’s football season! And you’ve officially made your switch from watching grown men slap one another on the tuchus in a sport where a simple pat on the back would suffice to a sport where it actually makes sense (you know the pads and stuff, also apparently football players don’t understand, “Nice job diving into that guy and then picking up that oblong thing your jarred from him!” yeah, it just doesn’t carry the same weight I suppose).
Now I can’t deny, nor hold it against any person with a pulse to forget that anything besides a pigskin exists once the leaves fall, but this is your chance people! The advantage and the edge everyone looks for in Fantasy, it’s in your hands right now. The stars of tomorrow are getting their time on the diamond today. The list of September call-up stars, just in recent memory, is long with names like Joba, Pablo and David needsalastname Price, topping the list. All were September call-ups over the last few years and have made significant impact in the fantasy realm as well as, slightly more importantly, with their Pro clubs.
Now I would never dare to request that you care less about your football teams, pro or fantasy, but just consider the potential of dedicating 2 nights every week to watching a few innings of baseball, even the struggling teams (because chances are they have more call-ups they’re seriously considering for the future). Think of if! You could start sharpening those mental pitchforks, your so fond of, for foes more deserving than I. I.e. the “friends” in your fantasy league next year. And that’s good for both of us, because I’m honestly this close to pressing charges. Also the Foul Weather Fan does not condone pillaging. Football season, I mean Fantasy baseball season, is neither the time nor the place for off-field violence.
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